Monday, March 07, 2005

is the shoe store a special circle of hell?


Perhaps because I was suffering from sleep deprivation, I decided yesterday to take both of my children to the shoe store. Alone. As in, without another parent or responsible adult. On the way to the store, I told the Bumblebee (recipient of my shoe largesse) that she was getting a new pair of sneakers. And that after that, she had a choice (call it the Bumblebee's Choice, a la William Styron). The choice? Either buy another pair of shoes (and with her Carrie Bradshaw-like shoe fetish, this would invariably be a pair that I would never buy, and would damage her feet for life), or go to the Build-a-Bear Workshop. Which led to the following:

Head into kid shoe aisle. "Mom, all these sneakers have ties. I don't want to tie my shoes!" Tough it out, kid, there's no velcro here. "Mom, these shoes are all UGGLLYY!" Rejection of approximately 1,000 pairs of sneakers. Where's your brother? Find the Sweet Potato happily unboxing several dozen baby shoes. Throw all baby shoes back into boxes. No, not the boxes they came in. Yes, that is the kind of mother/consumer that I have become. Catch withering stare from underpaid AngryStoreClerk.

Back to the BB, who has finally found an acceptable pair of sneakers. Try the 13.5. Too big. Try the 13. Too big. Try the 12.5. Too big. Try the 12. There is no 12. Search for a size 12. Ask the AngryStoreClerk to see if there's a 12. Ma'am, for you there will never be a 12. Where's your brother? Holy shit, is the front door of this store open? Frantically run around store, searching for small boy whose head does not stick up over racks of shoes. Find SP as he is just about to eat candy off the floor. Or just did, and I got there too late. Hard to tell.

Back to the BB, who has found another pair of acceptable sneakers (albeit a pair she rejected 10 minutes ago), which actually comes in a 12. Great! "Mom, I have to pee!" Well, there's no public restroom and the AngryStoreClerk is definitely not letting us into the employee bathroom, so hold it.

Now time for the BB Choice. Wander around in 'cute' shoe section, tricked out with lots of adorable pastel MaryJanes and the like. BB finds a pair of shoes she likes. Red, patent leather knee boots. What every five-year-old needs! Where's your brother? Chase down SP again, vow to carry him for the rest of the trip. Regret having worn heavy sweatshirt under winter coat.

The BB decides to go to Build-a-Bear. Back in the car, across the street to the mall. Bathroom stop. BBW is not too awful today, except for the fact that a four-year-old girl is having her birthday party there, which makes the BB realize that it is possible to have a birthday party in BBW, a fact that I have previously managed to keep from her. Build bear. Manage SP interaction with various BBW accessories.

Go home, feed kids lunch, play with bear. And on the way up to her quiet time*, the BB experiences buyer's remorse. "I should have gotten the boots." Sigh.

*quiet time is better known as, you're too big for a nap, but I need an hour alone in the middle of the day on a weekend.


• Posted By landismom @ 3/07/2005 01:28:00 PM
Comments:
LOL- that is too funny. The Cutie Pie HATES shoe shopping. Isn't it amazing how early the sex differences start? The Cutie Pie went to Build a Bear this weekend too. We had a gift certificate from his 3rd birthday (he's now 4), that he never used. He actually had fun- built a soldier bear of course, but it was fun.
 
great story, all too true... And quiet time is what saved us since our second kid never napped. He had lots of quiet times...
 
and the coda to this story is that, this weekend, she got the boots (I left the SP at home).

Now, she looks like she belongs in an Austin Powers movie.

Don't look at me like that--it was her goal for the week (she is on a sticker chart for behavior at school, every week if she gets enough stickers, she gets to pick a prize).
 
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